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 Post subject: Burned (for VolubleViking, as ToT)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:46 pm 
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“I'm bored,” Waka said, rolling onto his back.

“You were the one who wanted to come over to study,” an amused Daku said from his desk chair.

“I did, but now I'm bored,” Waka repeated, pillowing his head on the textbook. He tried not to notice how much the sheets smelled like Daku.

“And what might I do to alleviate your boredom?” Daku smirked.

Kiss me. “I don't know. I wouldn't be bored if I knew what I wanted to do,” Waka pointed out.

“True,” Daku smiled fondly. “What time do you have to be home?”

Waka inspected his watch. “If I make it by 6 we're good. Hey, why don't you come over for dinner too?”

“Awesome,” Daku grinned. “Your mum's cooking is the best. Heck, your mum is the best. I wish I lived at your house.”

Waka swallowed. “Wouldn't that be something,” he replied. His fingers itched for a match.



When he was six his mum had slapped a psychiatrist in the face when the man suggested he be pumped up to his eyeball full of drugs or institutionalised for the rest of his life. Instead Helen had packed her tiny boy into her car and driven them straight to a scrapyard, where she purchased a giant oil drum, made a deal for them to pour concrete in a back patch of their garden, and installed the drum and a metal shed where she kept everything that might burn. She sat him down and told him there was nothing wrong with him and that he should never let anyone give him any Sober for it.
“Some people drink,” she'd said, “and others smoke or gamble, or do drugs, and all of those things,” she assured him, “are more destructive than what you need. So whenever you need it, darling, you just come here, and you pack the papers and the wood from the garden and whatever else is in the shed, and you can sit and watch until you feel better.”
He'd never been tempted in 16 years to do the things the psychiatrist had sworn he'd do.



It was sort of Waka's idea of heaven, Daku at their kitchen table, eating his mum's food, flirting with her and her rolling her eyes at Waka and covertly telling Daku to just jump her son already. It would be heaven if Daku actually picked up on her hints, but you generally needed to drop an anvil on his head before he got anything – it was why he was studying chemistry in the first place. She was mostly doing it for Waka's sake, to tell him she didn't think he was dreaming of the impossible by being in love with his best friend. But that it was also alright if he never did anything about it. She had also put a candle right in front of him and left the matches within his reach. He loved his mum more than anything – except for Daku.

Later that night they stood in the garden together, him and his mum, and watched the bonfire crackle. She'd wrapped a blanket around both of them and they had hot chocolate.

“How are you doing, darling?” she asked softly.

Waka considered the question. “I'm happy,” he replied.

“So am I,” she smiled.



“You should come to the dorm Halloween party,” Daku said.

“Hmm?” Waka replied, looking up from his lab report. “They won't mind?”

“Of course not. They call it a dorm party but it's really more of a 'whoever we know and like' party. And they all know you, and I like you, so you're good.”

Waka felt like his skin would catch fire when he heard those three words from Daku's mouth. If only it wasn't a joke.

“So will you come?” Daku asked.

“Yeah,” Waka said, a little breathless.

That night he burned everything there was to find in the shed and stood just a little too close, Helen behind him with her arms around his waist and her cheek against his back. He knew what she was thinking, and wished he could swear to her that he had never and that that would take the worry away.

At age eleven, she'd caught him trying to light the gas stove top so he could stick his fingers in. She'd told him then that he should feed the fire everything, even her, before he ever fed it himself.



Waka arrived first because Daku couldn't be on time to save his life. He was wearing long sleeves that burned with cold fire – being a chemistry student was good for a lot of things. It kept him calm, too, but he still hoped Daku would be here soon. Daku, who was everything and made him want to light entire books of matches and who had no idea about Waka's urges or his feelings. For a moment Waka despaired. Then Daku walked in.

He was dressed like a fireman, of all things. He looked good enough to peel out of that uniform and eat. Waka clenched his fists.

“Yo, mate!” Daku called, coming over to thump him on the back while waving to all his other friends – his many, many other friends – and then leaned in and whispered: “You look gorgeous like that.”

Waka forgot how to breathe. Daku had never said anything like that to him before and his costume really wasn't anything special. Daku could do it himself easy enough. And he'd said he liked him. Waka's heart started racing. Could he really read more into this? Was he being the greatest fool on earth? He needed his matches, he needed his oil drum and the stuff in the shed, and perhaps his mum's hot chocolate. And all the while they were surrounded by people, who wanted to joke around with Daku or talk to Waka about class stuff and there were just too many of them and not enough air and Waka was feeling dizzy and claustrophobic and he hadn't even had anything to drink.

And then Daku wrapped long fingers around his wrist and it only got worse. Waka got the violent urge to burn the house down and started hyperventilating.

Daku noticed immediately. “Want to go outside?” he whispered, “There's too many people, I should have noticed.” And he's dragging Waka outside and his skin is burning underneath Daku's fingers and he can't take it, can't take this anymore, this pining and this feeling and he wants to burn.

The fresh air hits him like a hammer to the face and only makes it worse. He needs fire now but he doesn't have his matches, or a lighter, and he's nowhere near the stuff in the shed or his drum and Daku's got him by the shoulders, is shaking him gently and is telling him to “breathe, darling” like his mum does when he's having urges. “Tell me what you need,” Daku says. Waka shakes his head. Daku can never know, never ever know. His mum might think there's nothing wrong with him but everyone else would think he should be pumped up to his eyeballs full of drugs or institutionalised.

“Waka...” Daku is whispering and dragging him along further, back to Daku's dorm room that seems impossibly far away.

“I know what you need,” Daku says, lying back on the bed and pulling Waka down with him, on top of him, “even if you never wanted me to know.”

And then Daku's kissing him, and the world stops.

“Burn me,” Daku whispered in Waka's ear, hands under his shirt, burnt out sleeves already on the ground. “I can take whatever you need me to take. I'll bear your fire. Burn me, Waka. Let go.”

“I can't,” Waka replied, “There's no way you want this. I'm not normal.”

“There is nothing wrong with you, Waka,” Daku swore fiercely, Waka's head between his hands, eyes locked. “I love you, and I don't care about anything else. I was waiting for you, but you're never going to get your head out of your taco so shut up and kiss me. And when you've had enough of kissing me, gorgeous -” he surged up to bite Waka's earlobe “- please Edgar me.”

Waka's hands itched for his matches. He ran them through Daku's hair. His skin ached for the heat of the flame, so he pressed it against Daku's. “I love you,” he breathed, all inhibition gone at the sight of Daku naked underneath him. “I've loved you forever.”

“Show me how much,” Daku urged, and Waka sank into him to find heat and fire and everything he'd ever needed, to feel more than he thought he could contain, and fed himself to Daku's burning passion with relish.


“I have matches in the desk drawer if you need them,” Daku said afterwards, peppering kisses all over Waka's shoulders.
“No,” Waka smiled. “But maybe some hot chocolate.”


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 Post subject: Re: Burned (for VolubleViking, as ToT)
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:16 am 
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OMG SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Sihaya! That was a very enjoyable read! I loved your characterization of Waka, and I love how into each other they are even if it takes them a bit to realize it.

Yaaaay thanks so much!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Burned (for VolubleViking, as ToT)
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 4:03 am 
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I am very happy that you like it <3 Thank you!


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